The Longing

November 14, 2023

When someone you love is crushed by life, and great caring brings no pain-eraser.

Stream the Studio Version

Released March 4th, 2025.

Lyrics

If hope keeps us breathing, this might be your last.
If love takes believing, is it too much to ask?
If dreams are for someday, can we find out how long?
You thought life worked one way. But it’s turning out wrong.

Come sit in the longing beside me.
The rain on the roof doesn’t mind.
Life don’t make livin’ it easy.
It’s better with your hand in mine

If soulmates are real things, then why did he go?
If we’re meant for someone, would we even know?
If dreams keep us goin’, is dreamin’ enough?
We act like we know, and, then time calls our bluff.

Come sit in the longing beside me.
The rain on the roof doesn’t mind.
Life don’t make livin’ it easy.
It’s better with your hand in mine

If we tire of waiting, what else should we try?
If dreams need updating, does that mean good-bye?
If letting go heals us, don’t cling to the rope.
If hope brings you comfort, may this bring you hope.

Come sit in the longing beside me.
The rain on the roof doesn’t mind.
Life don’t make livin’ it easy.
It’s better with your hand in mine

No life don’t make livin’ it easy at all.
But it’s better with your hand in mine.

Back Story

The creek that runs by the cabin where I wrote this song.

I wrote this during a quiet weekend at my cabin in the woods. Just me, my dog, and the warmth of the wood stove. My mind was heavy, knowing and feeling the deep pain of people I love. People who were feeling crushed by life that week. I knew there are no answers, no magic wands, no pain-erasers no matter how intensely we love someone.

I wanted to write my caring and send comfort, while refusing even the tiniest denial of grief and despair.

While I was writing the chorus, I heard the cold rain starting on the tin roof. I knew I had to put that in the song.

Making of the Studio Version

Co-producer Cody and I decided to do this one without piano. We imagined finger-style guitar, and cello. I recorded scratch piano as a base, and my vocals as best I could.

Cody performed the gentle acoustic guitar track that anchors the song. And he introduced me to cellist Briar Darling.

Briar and I spent almost a whole day in the studio. They improv’d a broad range of cello composition ideas and we recorded them all. From simple to complex, tame to wild. We did 60 takes.

When I sat down to edit the final cello track, I listened to each take with eyes closed, focused on how my emotion responded to each part. The resulting is a weaving together of many moments from that day in the studio. Although at times the cello sounds like a violin, and at other times it sounds like multiple instruments at once, there are no layers in the track, everything you hear is a single cello wielded by Briar’s fingers and bow. I love it.

I put a bunch of time into recording and re-recording my vocals. Many takes and edits, and not much confidence. They vocals were the best I could do at the time. Thanks to a lot of voice lessons and hours singing over the months, singing doesn’t feel so strange and effortful as it did. Shortly before releasing this song to streaming, I sat down in my home studio and sang one simple vocal take with my loved ones in mind, and went with that.

Art

Credits & Thank-You’s

Acoustic guitar and co-producing by Cody Jensen. Thank you Cody for your encouragement and support in producing these songs. Cello composition and performance by Briar Darling. Thanks Briar for your creative courage and putting in so much time to make this remarkable accompaniment for my simple song. Album art painted by Laura Gillen. I love what she saw when she listened to the track. Words, music, recording, and production by me. Thank you to my voice teacher Gabriel Weiner for pushing and guiding me to be my full self when I sing. 💐 Thanks to the songwriter group, a kind first audience for this. Thank you to all who taught me about “just being with”.